Hope is the thing with feathers,
that perches on the soul,
and sings the tune without the words
and never stops at all,
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And sweetest in the gale is heard;
and sore must be the storm
that could abash the little bird
that kept so many warm.
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I’ve heard it on the chillest land,
and on the strangest sea;
yet, never, in extremity,
it asked a crumb of me.”
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Emily Dickinson
The best part of today: baking cookies with sweet Rawa.
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A nine-year old boy from Kurdistan, six fingers on each hand, and the height of a five year old…probably always will be. He’s now recovering from a successful open-heart surgery.
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What an incredible child. He may be small in stature, but the intelligence that sparkles in his eyes, and the tenderness and openness of his strong heart makes him taller than many a grown man.
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I see the great mercy God has shown on this boy while he’s been in Israel, and the openness and awe with which it’s been received. How I pray Rawa will know the greatness and beauty of this love! That he will surely “taste and see that the Lord is good”!
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“Those who look to him are radiant,
and their faces shall never be ashamed.
This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him
and saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the LORD encamps
around those who fear him, and delivers them.
Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!”
(Psalm 34:4-8)
Red-headed, mischievous, full of life: Barzan. He left Jerusalem in March of this year with an “excellent” heart, and a song on his lips. Each day he and his mother spent with us found him deeper and deeper into my heart! His bright eyes, intelligent smile and happy curiosity; he certainly knew how to make me grin. He also loved to sing, and by the time he left had memorized the whole kurdish worship CD by heart.
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Tuesday night Goran, Donna and I got to visit with Barzan and meet his whole family! Barzan was surprisingly timid at first, and even throughout the evening kept to himself quite a bit. I think he was didn’t want to give the impression of being too “soft” in front of his older siblings…he spent a lot of the time playing car-chase games on the computer. Just being a normal boy…but later when we gathered in the sitting room, he did end up singing with us, and remembering every word by heart; I knew he would!
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I remembered back to when I had the chance to take him to the sea, just before his surgery earlier this year. The awe and excitement with which he met the water, it’s immense beauty, was thrilling to watch. What a hopeful thing the ocean is! The hugeness of it makes us realize how very small we are, and lifts our eyes to something beyond ourselves. That’s what I prayed on that day, that Barzan’s eyes would be continually lifted up to the hope that is before him; that he would know a light that pierces the darkness, and a love that is stronger than all of his weakness.
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Now he is home in the world he knows, a very different world than where we met each day with a song to the God who loves and heals…those sweet days of his healing in Jerusalem. Yet he remains in my heart more than ever, and I will continue to hope and pray that he grows up as a man who seeks, and knows, and sings of the love of Messiah. I pray that no matter what the pressures in his life tells him to cling to, that he will cling to truth, to beauty, and to hope! And that he will never lose the song that’s in his heart.
We didn’t have long with Parwa’s family yesterday, just a short visit in the afternoon, but how wonderful it was to see this friend again! Parwa is such a bright girl, beautiful, and so, so loving. When she first saw me she called my name and greeted me with a warm hug, sweet excitement in her eyes. She was happy to receive greetings from all the team she knew and loved in Jerusalem, and sends her love back to everyone.
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It was lovely to meet the whole family as we sat around the floor in their simple home, enjoying tea and biscuits and fresh fruit. One excitement of the afternoon was to meet four-month old Parisa. Parisa is Parwa’s little sister who was also in Jerusalem with us earlier this year, only we hadn’t met her yet! But now she’s born and looking very well. She has an excellent older sister in Parwa, and I’m sure she’ll be well loved.
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Sitting beside Parwa yesterday, it was exciting to witness once again the joy with which she’s facing life; the spirit of adventure that emanates from her sparking eyes and bold smile. With cheerful confidence she spent much of the time putting to use her english skills, and eagerly learning new words. When asked what she wants to be when she grows up, she immediately answered, “a teacher”. And what a splendid teacher she will be. Or whatever she sets her mind to be!
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I pray that whatever she chooses in life, she would choose to hope. And that whatever life brings her way, she would continue to smile with bright anticipation! Walking with a growing knowledge of God’s infinite kindness and love.
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“Those who look to him are radiant, their faces will never be ashamed.”-Psalm 34:5
What a lovely, memorable evening we had last night! Goran, Donna and I were welcomed with intense joy and gratitude into the home of Lano, who left Israel in January after a successful heart surgery. Every day I spent with Lano and her mother during the treatment time in Israel was a joy- everybody felt the same! Even the doctor’s and nurses had fallen in love with this little girl who blew them kisses after an echo, or gave them a big kiss on the cheek to say goodbye.
This evening was no different. Um Lano greeted me with a big hug and kisses, and it was so wonderful to see her again! Lano herself was rather shy at first, but warmed up considerably with the help of bubbles, kurdish dancing, some songs on the guitar, and many heart-felt smiles. The family served us an incredible dinner of fish, chicken, salads, fresh bread, and delicious kurdish sweets. But even more incredible was the eagerness and love with which we were received. The father expressed again and again the gratitude which seemed to well up within him. They bestowed such generosity upon us throughout the evening, from the continual stacking of fish upon my plate during dinner to the ornate and richly colored Jilli Kurdies (the traditional kurdish dress for women) they happily gave Donna and I before we left.
Yet the father expressed not only his gratitude towards us and all those involved with his daughter’s recovery, but also to Christianity and the love he’s seen therein. Having served as a Lieutenant for many years, he’s seen so much evil done in the name of Islam that he’s rather outspoken against the religion, and instead decides to remain steadfast in his political beliefs as a non-religious man. Yet over and over again he expressed his admiration of Jesus’ teaching, not just in polite responsibility, but with genuine awe. As we sang our kurdish worship songs together, he listened with tender eyes and asked for the written lyrics to look at. After reading through these powerful words he kissed the sheet before handing it back. Saying thank you, thank you, over and over.
The entire night was such fun, and so full of hope for this family. Not only is Lano’s heart strong and healthy, but every heart in the home seemed so very open and full of love. I hope we can visit this family again before we leave (they invited us to go bowling with them!), but whatever happens I pray they will continue to seek for the truth that is the gospel.
“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:17-20)
Friday night was a very special night. Jonathan, Goran, Donna and I had the honor of spending the evening and a lovely dinner with Ahmed’s family here in Sulymania. It’s been hard for me to put this evening into words. We all loved Ahmed so much, and the death of this precious boy 7 months ago was a loss felt deeply by us all. These past months my heart has been heavy for this family who loved and lost so, so much. So often with weeping heart I’ve prayed that that this broken family would feel the hope and comfort that reaches beyond the sadness and deprivation of this life, and that they would know the love that holds Ahmed even in death.
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To sit with them this night, remembering Ahmed and the joy his life brought was a hard, yet beautiful thing. As soon as we stepped out of the car I saw a 12 year old boy stepping out hospitably to greet us, and show us the way. It was Ahmed’s older brother, Samad, in whose face I beheld that same, kind smile I knew so well. I was so pleased to meet him.
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Walking into the courtyard I was greeted by Um Ahmed, and though she looked happy to see us, I knew she was still aching inside. I hugged her and didn’t know what words to say, only to kiss her, and show that we cared. From that moment on I tried hard to keep back the tears, but so often in these months I’ve held them, and now they filled my eyes with the pain that’s still so real. Sitting around their dining room floor I saw sincere gratitude in their eyes. But even deeper was the pain that still remains. Ahmed’s father has had a rough time of it, the loss of his long-awaited son left his heart so broken. Jonathan asked how he’s doing after these long months, and his reply was spoken softly, reflecting the sorrow that tearfully filled his eyes. He said he’s doing better, but when everyone’s gone, he’s still crying.
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It was a special moment to give Um Ahmed the gift I had made for her, a sketch I had drawn of her and Ahmed together. Sharing tears and precious memories, we smiled down at the face in the picture. I felt such inadequacy in this moment, and the lack of words was overwhelming- the love I have for this sister welled up within, but nothing was found but tears to give. Continuing to smile through the sorrow, she spoke how very sad it was. I told her that we’ve all cried so, so much; but that even in my crying, I know that Ahmed is smiling in the arms of Jesus. She just smiled, and I pray thather broken heart would find hope and healing in those same, loving arms of God.
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The rest of the evening continued to be a blessing. The men remained with Jonathan and Goran in dining room, and I’m thankful for the deep discussion they had surrounding God’s word, and truth. Meanwhile Donna and I left with the Um Ahmed and her sisters to a smaller room, where we simply sat with one another and enjoyed the sweetness of each other’s company. Um Ahmed also showed us her small collection of lovely, traditional, Kurdish dresses. She was excited and insistent that I tried one on, “to know it’s beautiful”, so I did. Later in the evening Um Hezhan, her daughter-in-law, and grandchildren also joined us. It was a fun and beautiful time to reminisce with these two mothers about the time spent together in Jerusalem. The laughter, the inside-jokes, the waiting, the tears.
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After a long, full evening, we felt it was time to go. How good it was to see my friend Sazgar (Um Ahmed) again, and to meet the bigger family of this little boy I loved. As we climbed into the car, the whole family gathered around the vehicle to wave bid us goodbye, and shout “Xua Hafis” (God be with you).
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May God bless them in their brokenness, meet them in their loneliness, and stir up in their hearts the hope of what they’ve heard. My heart will always weep with them. Yet lifting up my tearful eyes, I glimpse the hope and immeasurable love in the One who loves them most, the Messiah who’s love proves stronger than the grave. We will continue to love and pray for this family, praying that their eyes, too, shall one day be lifted up. Towards hope, towards grace, and towards redemption.
this little boy was so loved, so beautifully content, so happy. I never once saw him cry. And when his mother smiled down at him, he shone with love and light.
Now his mother’s arms are empty, and he is gone. I long now that she may feel the comfort of the arms that hold him now, arms that are wide, loving, and hopeful- even yet.
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“Come, said Jesus’ sacred voice
come, and make my paths your choice
I will guide you to your home,
weary pilgrim, hither come.
hither come, for here is found
balm that flows for every wound
peace that ever shall endure
rest eternal, sacred, sure,
rest eternal, sacred, sure.”
Here we are, in Kurdistan.
and the Lord has gone before us!
preparing the way,
preparing the hearts.
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your love, O Lord, is so deep-
I cannot comprehend.
your mercy, so wide
your grace, so infinite,
and you, oh Lord, are good!
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you are my strength,
my vision,
my victory,
my life, my love,
my joy
and peace.
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In you there is light,
there is no fear-
only the knowledge
and joy of you;
of knowing you, worshipping you,
knowing you are with me.
You longed to be with me,
drew me to yourself,
and despite my many weakness,
in your strength
I remain.
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when I stand on the rooftops and look over this city,
I feel like I am home.
as we drove through the mountains
beneath the host of silvery stars,
I felt like I was home.
when we first flew into Erbil,
I felt so calm and happy,
like I was coming home.
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how can it be?
it cannot be, but that God alone has brought me here!
every step of the way.
he has hemmed me in,
behind and before,
and laid his hand upon me.
He is my home.
and wherever I go, his presence goes too.
(psalm 139)
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entering into the homes of these families,
often so broken,
I feel so weak-
so incapable for the task,
not knowing the words to say,
not much more than tears to give.
But how good to know that the Lord is there!
his spirit is working, his word living and powerful,
and he is faithful.
One of the young men in the home we visited asked for a Kurdish bible to read,
and in his face I can see that light
drawing him nearer and nearer!
I pray that God would continue to touch his heart, revealing his love,
and filling his heart with hope.
♥
“Come all ye pining, hungry, poor
the Savior’s bounty taste;
behold, a never failing store
for every willing guest.”
“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
(Psalm 91:1-2)
Today is a restful morning as Donna and I are blessed by the beautiful hospitality of Jonathan’s family in here in Jordan. We got to sleep in a bit, and now are simply relaxing, reading, and rejoicing as we wait for the taxi to the airport.
It’s the beginning of a journey, and it’s seemed so fitting that it should start just after thanksgiving! There are so many things to be thankful for. Thankful for the team that God has so perfectly orchestrated, for the provisions of transportation and accommodation ahead of us, for everything that I can’t even begin to tell. When I think of all the families we will get to see and visit, I can’t stop smiling and thanking God for these days ahead.
I’m sure we will face our share of challenges, some that I haven’t even fathomed. But, seeing how God has led us safe thus far, I trust he will give us the grace to face each new challenge with courage, excitement, and joy.
In striving to pack light, I decided not to carry many books with me, only my thick leather journal, bible, kurdish dictionary and notebook, and my new copy of “Shadow of the Almighty”, the life and testament of Jim Elliot. There’s so much I would love to say about how I’m feeling for this trip, and the exciting plans God has set before us! But because the taxi will be hear in only 15 minutes, for now I will copy out this portion from Jim Elliot’s Journal, as he first boarded the ship to Ecuador. I really resonate with his writing, and this moment which he records speaks so clearly the excitement that is brimming as I wait to see what God will do. With God, we shall do valiantly!
“White stars breaking through a high mist. Half moon. The deep burn of phosphorous running in the wake. Long, easing rolling and the push of steady wind. The Santa Juana is under way…
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All the thrill of boyhood dreams came on me just now, outside watching the sky die in the sea on every side. I wanted to sail when I was in grammar school, and well remember memorizing the names of the sails from Merriam-Webster’s pronderous dictionary in the library. Now I am actually at sea- as passenger, of course, but at sea nevertheless- and bound for Ecuador. Strange -or is it? -that childish hopes should be answered in the will of God for this now.
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We left our moorings at the Outer Harbor Dock, San Pedro, California, at 2:06pm today. Mom and Dad stood together watching at the pier side. As we slipped away Psalm 60:12 came to mind, and I called back, “Through our God we shall do valiantly.” They wept some. I do not understand how God has made me. I didn’t even feel like weeping, and don’t even now. Joy, sheer joy, and thanksgiving fill and encompass me.
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…the will of God is always a bigger thing than we bargain for, but we must believe that whatever it involves, it is good, acceptable, and perfect.”
